Vacation: Obese vs. fit

I am fresh off of a wonderful 4 day vacation to Ft. Myers Beach, FL, with my hubby. After a crazy year of some major life changes, we really needed the time away. Let me tell you, it was magnificent! One of my best vacations ever - and I can tell you that at least part of that is due to the state of my health.

When you are obese, unfit, unhealthy or any combination of the 3 (because while they often go together, there are times that they don't), vacation can be bittersweet. It's always great to get away and to relax. But it's no fun to stress over things like airplane seat belts (will it fit) and the tray that comes down (will my tummy be in the way of getting it all the way down). Even worse, it can be exhausting to do much walking and make you sweat 10x more than the average person. Getting into a bathing suit sucks. For many people, such as me in the past, doing certain things is intimidating.

Case in point: I would NEVER have went para-sailing in the past. Never. Ever. NEVER EVER. Not only is it nerve racking anyhow, but I would have been overcome with worries, founded or unfounded. Would the weight limit be enough? Would I look like a bit fat blob and be laughed at? Did my fat butt really belong up there? These things might seem, or even really BE ridiculous - but they were things I would have thought.
But not this time. Nope....hubby and I decided to go for it and it was spectacular. I was nervous, but I didn't let anything hold me back.

We also did a lot of walking - and I managed it just fine (other than the heat getting pretty tiring after being in the HOT sun for several hours a day a few days in a row - but that was mostly my wimpy Minnesota blood, not a low fitness level). One time, we were in a hurry to catch a trolley scheduled to come in, and the only way we would make it is if we ran. So we did. AND I was wearing flip flops! I really don't think I could have done that 2, and certainly not 3+ years ago. (We made it, by the way - we ran up to the trolley stop just as the trolley was arriving)!

Another new thing for me besides being more adventurous and being able to actually walk without keeling over....wearing cute swimsuits. Until now I have worn a lot of one-piece or 2 piece tankinis with built-in skirts. They were just fine, I am not knocking them so don't get me wrong. But everyone is different, and I longed to wear something "cute" as opposed to something that obviously came from the plus-sized racks. I ended up buying a red 2 piece tankini and a black/blue tankini as well as a black bikini top to go with the black/blue tankini bottom (got that? haha). And I WORE the bikini. Oh yes, I wore that sucker. I rocked it. I may not be perfect. I may have some stretch marks and a nice big vertical c-section scar. But I am proud of my hard work, and felt confident enough to go for it. It's not like it was some tiny triangle top. It provided good coverage. The bottoms didn't sit too far down. It was actually really perfect for me, without scaring others away yet still making me feel comfortable. Okay, but here is a confession - I mostly wore it in the mornings, before the days meals and drinks had a chance to "bloat me up" too much.

So there you have it. A great vacation, filled with confidence and the ability to physically do whatever I wanted to do, with no worries or paranoia. We swam, shelled, lounged, ate good food and drank cold tropical drinks, did a 6-hour private charter fishing trip during which my hubby caught a 400+ lb "Goliath Grouper" (along with plenty of other smaller fish for us both), we went para-sailing and saw a shark from up above, saw dolphins and a sea turtle, saw some beautiful scenery...it was a wonderful vacation.

Following are a couple of vacation pics. Just a couple from my phone - we haven't taken any off of our camera yet.

Starting out with a drink at the airport

One of my favorite pics from the vacation

Para-sailing!

Nothing like an beach sunset at the ocean.

Starfish everywhere!

A bird feeding one evening before sunset

First day, right after we arrived. Checking out the scenery.

Lord, give me strength....

My older daughter in in Kindergarten. She is a Daisy Girl Scout this year - and guess what time it is? Yes. You guessed it.

Girl Scout Cookie time.

Back in the day when I was a Daisy Girl Scout...(you know...ummm, just.... 19 years ago...ahem), we took orders on order forms, then turned them in, and the cookies came awhile later and we had to distribute and deliver them. Now, the girls have the cookies ahead of time. They can bring them with door to door and exchange money for goods on-the-spot. Speaking of money - $4 a box this year. WTF is THAT all about?! Geeez - before you know it, they will be charging a kidney or something!

Anyhow. What does this mean for me, exactly? It means that I now have dozens of boxes of cookies sitting in my house. Every single cookie seems to call my name from within. It's like a massive chorus....eating away at me with urges to eat away at THEM. Granted, the cookies are to sell. They aren't mine unless I buy them. And I am sure we will buy a couple of boxes. But we need to PLAN for it. The problem with having them around is that I could say, oh let's open a box. We'll buy it. And then, Oh, lets open another box. We'll buy it....and so on. That could be one heck of a slippery (and expensive) slope!

So I declare now, I will NOT GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION. The only cookies I will buy and eat will the what my husband and I plan ahead of time to buy. And that number will be very minimal. There will be NO spur-of-the-moment "Oh, we'll just buy one more box" crap!

So STFU, cookies. I'm NOT listening to your evil chants of deliciousness.

New found love

I.love.almond.milk! I hadn't tried it until recently, but now that I have - I wish I had sooner. Coconut milk is also very tasty, but I will focus on the almond milk for now.

I bought the Silk brand. The unsweetened variety has just 30 calories per serving! And it is delicious!! I haven't tried the unsweetened vanilla...only the unsweetened original. The unsweetened vanilla will be next on my list. I have tried the sweetened vanilla and it was too sweet for me. I mean it was good, but I prefer the unsweetened original (which is kind of odd being that I generally have a big ol' sweet tooth...but I guess not when it comes to milk)!

Anyhow. If you haven't tried almond milk - go for it. Seriously! I was actually surprised by how much I liked it.

I got called WHAT?

Occasionally, somebody unintentionally says something that kills your day, or makes your day. I remember the first time I heard a stranger refer to me as a runner - I was pretty stoked.

I just got done posting about this on the EOTF (Enough of the fluff) Facebook page...but I was at the gym today and somebody called me LITTLE. I have been called many things in my life, but little is certainly not at the top of the list. The best part is, it wasn't even said to me as a compliment or directly at all...it was just innocent talk. She had a group of little girls who were taking up the whole hallway. We were rounding the corner at the same time, going opposite directions. I had to stop quick to avoid a huge collision with these little girls. After they rounded the corner and were out of sight, I heard the woman reminded them to start walking in single file, and she also said "It's a good thing that woman was little, or she would have run you right over!".

So this lady, she has no idea...but she just made my day :-)

Skinny

I thought I saw somewhere that the average model is something like 25% thinner than the average american woman. And a LOT of models have a BMI that would qualify them as being underweight.

Of course, for the average woman, there is no danger of ever being underweight...more of us are battling the weight loss game or trying to maintain our average weights... but these are the standards society is thrusting in our faces at every turn. So when you are aiming to lose weight, it can be easy to focus on wanting to simply be "thin" rather than focusing also, on your health. After all, "thin is in".

As for the ridiculous hair styles sometimes seen, let's not even go there.

Guess what. I want to look hot in a swimsuit as much as the next woman. But first of all, being a stick with bones jutting out in awkward places, and having no boobs, is not hot. Guess what else? I would much rather be a size 10, but strong and fit, than to be a size 0 and have no energy or strength. I wonder how many of these super skinny models could run long distances? Not many, considering they don't have the fuel for it in their bodies. These models are skinny-fat - and that is not where it's at.

I want to look great, be healthy, and have the strength, power and fitness to accomplish amazing things. Our bodies are capable of so much if we just treat them properly and put in the work - why would I throw that away for a flat chest and a bony ass?

*Disclaimer: I do realize there are occasions where women are underweight and honestly struggle to put weight on, just as overweight women struggle to lose it. I am absolutely NOT talking about these women and firmly believe they deserve all the same respect as an overweight person, or any person. My point is geared towards the super, ridiculously skinny models who are getting paid millions to keep their calorie intake low and their BMI even lower. I also understand there may be other factors at work - mental struggles and such. I don't mean to bang on these women personally, because I'm not in their shoes and don't know what's going on in their heads or lives. What I DO bang on, is how society is allowing this to appear as a standard. If consumers buy it and feed off of it, it won't go away. There are some great campaigns out there, such as the Dove Love your Body one and their movement for self esteem. I wish we would see more of this, including in the high fashion industry. Why can sample sizes be in the 6-12 range rather than the 00-4 range? Why can't the models be fit and curvy? Why, why why?

What are your thoughts on the super skinny models and companies that use them to promote their goods?

Diet vs Exercise

You can exercise all you want...if you eat like crap, you will not see the level of success that you would if you paired your hard work with healthy eating habits. I have seen it over and over again in myself. There have been times where I have let my diet slide (diet in the sense of what I eat, not an actual "I'm on a diet" kind of diet) but worked out hard, and seen absolutely NO movement on the scale. For weeks on end, even. When I was new at this, I was a little puzzled...how could I be working this hard and sweating like a pig, yet not losing any weight?! But once I was honest with myself (again, there's that damn honesty piece popping up), I realized that what I put in my mouth was not healthy or conducive to losing weight or getting fit. As soon as I started watching what I put in my mouth and concentrating on eating quality foods in decent quantities...the weight started coming off again.



So when you get stuck, make sure you take a good look at your habits - are you working your butt off at the gym, only to negate all that hard work with chinese take out, pizza, donuts and soda? Don't be surprised then, that you aren't seeing much progress. Even if you must take small steps towards a better diet, it's better than nothing. Keep working at matching your diet to your exercise, and success will come. You just can't give up, because these things take time. A whole lot of agonizing, frustrating time. Time that is worth it in the end!



REMEMBER: Your exercise is only as efficient as your diet allows it to be.

Something that bugs me

I am used to being the "bigger" girl. Even in elementary school, I was bigger than most of my classmates. What I am not used to is being a so called "normal" size. My BMI is in the normal range. I can buy normal, non-plus size clothing. My doctor is not concerned about my weight. This is all new to me! These are things that I never dreamed would ever be the case - but here I am! It's amazing and still seems impossible.

But what kind of bugs me is when I get comments occasionally, from well-meaning friends or acquaintances, that I am "disappearing into nothing". Or "How much more do you plan to lose, you are tiny?! Maybe I am just being sensitive, but it feels like they are saying I am taking it too far. But the thing is, I am very aware of exactly where I am and where I need to go in my journey - and I am very conscious of making sure I am not seeing myself differently than everyone else. My BMI is towards the top of the "normal" range, so although people may comment that I look like I can't lose anymore - yes, I can. I want to be in the middle of normal...and trust me, there is definitely enough excess left for me to get there. I have even asked my hubby's opinion, with the promise that nothing he said would be held against him, and he agreed with me. Losing another 10-15 lbs is not a far reach. The thing is, people who have known me forever, have NEVER seen me as a "normal" weight. Maybe to them, it's a bit of a shock and looks just...not right. I just wish they would trust me that I am not turning into a crazy person and trying to be a size 0 or something. I am honestly taking a ton of different things into account when I am deciding where my goal is. I just wish I didn't have to feel guilty for doing so! It's like, if somebody was my build and height, but had always been 130 lbs and healthy looking, nobody would think twice. It would be a non-issue. But just because I have always been overweight or obese, it is crazy for me to be 130 lbs? Even though 130 for my height is well within the typical normal range?

Honestly, I say in person to people that I'd like to get to X goal, but deep down, I secretly hope to get to a different goal - I'm just afraid of more comments about losing too much weight. I suppose it's just a hazard that goes with the territory of losing a significant amount of weight, and even more so being open and honest about it like I am. I understand that and I accept that...but just wanted a quick vent about it. Now I will get over it and move on :-)

Diet vs. Exercise

So in my last blog (you know, where I announced that I had kicked the 2's for good), I mentioned that it seems like (at least for me) diet is a bigger factor in weight-loss than exercise. I can definitely lose weight even with minimal exercise, as long as I have eaten well. This means good portion sizes (not too big, and also not to0 small), not a lot of excess sugar/bad carbs, and trying to make my day well rounded. It goes the other way too. I can exercise my ass off, and feel so good about it - but if I ate like crap, it won't matter one bit.

It is an ongoing struggle, and I still have not nailed down exactly how I should be "eating right". I am just guessing, to be honest. I struggle with eating too much. I have struggled with eating too little. Too many carbs. Not enough veggies. Not enough protein. It is always something, and I feel like it is a constant juggling act trying to get it balanced right. So far it is going well, obviously, but that sure doesn't mean it is easy or even that I know what I am doing! Plenty of people have said wow, you are losing it so fast...but then, I also have 2 or 3 or 4 times the amount of weight to lose as they do, so yes of course it is coming off faster...for now.

So now that I declared my opinion and struggles with diet...what about exercise?
I still think it is important. I cannot wait to be able to say I ran (okay it will probably be more like slowly jogged) a 5k. And exercise has definitely been an important tool in my weight loss to date. Best of all...I can now jog a whole mile at a time on the treadmill without dying! And I LOVE the feeling of being all sweaty and gross, knowing you just kicked your own ass working out. I like feeling accomplished, and I like knowing that just 3 months ago, I could barely run 20 seconds let alone 12 or 13 minutes straight. Even better is knowing that this is just the beginning. I am still a novice, and I fully intend to keep improving my stamina and speed. Best of all is that I have now come too far to let it all slip away. Even when I was 30 lbs lighter than I am now (when I got married), there was still no way I was able to run a mile. So it makes me happy to see how far I've come, and excited for how far I might be able to go.

I would like to end with a little statistic for you...I started this weight loss blog and my official journey on January 12th, 2011. Today is April 19th, so it has been roughly about 13 weeks. I have lost 28 lbs. That means my weight loss has been averaging 2.15 lbs per week since I started. Not bad....fast enough to keep me happy, yet I think it is a fairly healthy pace?

Now I have my sights set on 30 :-)